so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
