and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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