I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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