sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
