; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
