Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Come see our sink grown plant.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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