This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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