Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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