OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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