I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
