I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
