drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
