Already got asked if we're dating
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
