too bad you live with your parents still
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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