Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
