I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
