woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
