used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
