he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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