Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
