he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
