i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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