The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
