I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
