So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
