and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
