I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
