well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
