At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she peed on how many people?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
