I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
