why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
