you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
