i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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