I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
