I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
