Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He felt like a one man threesome
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
