Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
