The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
