I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
