so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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