Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
