we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
