Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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