dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
