Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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