You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
