Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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