Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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