Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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