I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
